I think I am suffering from depression. Not that I don't have good reasons for it but I still need to find someway to kick it. I find it hard to get up in the morning, hard to get going, hate to return phone calls, don't really visit friends or clean house, cooking... hah! I could go on detailing the dismal spiral that I am in but why? My dh has been awesome but still doesn't get it. I finally made an appointment. I hope they have some magic pill that will make me be a good wife, mommy and friend like I was in the not so distant past.
My friend C is dying. Slowly withering away. Her hair is falling out in clumps, she can barely keep food down at all. She cannot feel her feet, regulate her body temperature, or say what she wants anymore. She is pretty much unresponsive. Sits in her wheel chair and stares at walls, waiting for someone to wipe the drool from her chin. C will be 12 in September... if she lives that long. She has Jeuvenille Huntington's Disease. MEAN FREAKING DISEASE! Bek is not doing so hot. Heck C has been her best friend since 2nd grade. Would you be doing well? The main problem is we don't support each other in this. Not to say we don't try but it seems when I am with her I feel a need to internalize my grief and she does the same. She can't even visit her anymore, nor does she want me to. DH said that the last 2 times I went she just cried the whole time I was gone. Told him she felt like a failure as a friend because she couldn't go. I feel like everytime that I walk out the door to go that I am putting C before Bek, but what am I supposed to do?
Bella has a whole lot of health things going on that I don't really have the strength to get into... just, if you are a praying person, please keep her in your prayers.
The other 2 have stepped up their attitude issues just to make sure they are not forgotten in this whole mess.
Weight loss is stalled at 10 pounds.
On the plus side I got the new HP book on Saturday and read it. Bek is over half way through. She reads like me. Nothing else matters but the book. O I also got a new van on Saturday. An ice blue 2007 Chevy Uplander. Seems good so far.
Sorry about the lack of updates
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
(((hugs)))
(((hugs))) just so you know, I am thinking of you and praying for you all to get through this difficult time. You are missed on the board. (((hugs))) some more.
Good words.
Post a Comment