Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Sunday, November 04, 2007


Ok I signed onto this from a friend's (Jules)site.
I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this Pay It Forward exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

If you want in leave me a comment, and then run along and post on your site

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Lauren loves me

I just had to share my little Lauren who can be too cute for words sometimes

Friday, August 24, 2007


I finally did it. I have wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember but have been unsure of what. Then I decided ladybug because I love ladybugs. As the idea grew I decided that I wanted the kids involved in some way so instead of having spots on it's back my ladybug has 4 hearts for my daughters.

It really didn't hurt too badly at all. Mostly a scratching feeling. Bigger than dh would like as it is almost 3 inches. It is located on my upper spine between my shoulder blades. Easily hidden when I don't want and easy to show off when I do.

Here it is

Friday, July 27, 2007

I Really Am Lucky

For all the grief going on in life I really am lucky.

My daughters are all alive... and that is more than a lot of people can say.

I am thankful for Isabella. As terrified as I am about Isabella's headaches and all her medical tests coming up, she is alive. She is enjoying summer and outside. She is hating bugs and loving life. She loves to snuggle in my bed to read stories and helps me make up silly stories too. She is so creative tha it makes it easy to play imagine games with her. She has created an imaginary friend (who she agrees is imaginary). Her name is Lizzie. She holds her hand and when Bella is upset she will go into her room and tell Lizzie about how unfair life is. Somehow that always works for her.

I am thankful for Lauren. She is a terror at times. Hates to clean, yells and cries for no apparent reason, and refuses to eat dinner without being fed. She is also the one to spontaneously hug me for no reason. She just looks up from a game at me and says, "I love you Mommy. So so so so so much." She can melt your heart with her smile and then wrap her arms around your neck and hug you. You can never have a totally bad day with Lauren around.

I am thankful for Morgan. She is goofy and forgetful...and down right lazy. You send her to her room to get dressed at 9 am and by 1 pm she is still in jammies. Not overtly defiant, but sneaky about it. She goes to her room, goofs off for an hour and comes out still in jammies. Arggg. She is a great cleaner when she wants to be... but she can procrastinate better than I can (and that is saying something). She is also caring and loving. She would give her last nickle to help out someone in need.

I am thankful for Rebekah. As terrible as it is to live with a hormonal pre teen, Rebekah is here to give me grief and cause me to want to yank my hair out. That is a good thing. Other moms are not that lucky. Rebekah can be the sweetest little girl. She is so capable and least until it comes to clean up time. At night I will sometimes watch her sleep and say a prayer of thanks that she is alive and well and will have many tomorrows.

I am thankful for my hubby. He comes home everynight and wraps his arms around me. All is good and right with the world! We have been together since I was 16 and I truly love him more today than ever before. I love to make him smile. He completes me.

We are blessed with good health, great families (the grandparents on both sides), and lots of friends. Who could ask for more.

So for today I will be thankful for what I have. I will thank God for what i have and pray for those who don't have it.

Monday, July 23, 2007

I think I need to see someone....

I think I am suffering from depression. Not that I don't have good reasons for it but I still need to find someway to kick it. I find it hard to get up in the morning, hard to get going, hate to return phone calls, don't really visit friends or clean house, cooking... hah! I could go on detailing the dismal spiral that I am in but why? My dh has been awesome but still doesn't get it. I finally made an appointment. I hope they have some magic pill that will make me be a good wife, mommy and friend like I was in the not so distant past.

My friend C is dying. Slowly withering away. Her hair is falling out in clumps, she can barely keep food down at all. She cannot feel her feet, regulate her body temperature, or say what she wants anymore. She is pretty much unresponsive. Sits in her wheel chair and stares at walls, waiting for someone to wipe the drool from her chin. C will be 12 in September... if she lives that long. She has Jeuvenille Huntington's Disease. MEAN FREAKING DISEASE! Bek is not doing so hot. Heck C has been her best friend since 2nd grade. Would you be doing well? The main problem is we don't support each other in this. Not to say we don't try but it seems when I am with her I feel a need to internalize my grief and she does the same. She can't even visit her anymore, nor does she want me to. DH said that the last 2 times I went she just cried the whole time I was gone. Told him she felt like a failure as a friend because she couldn't go. I feel like everytime that I walk out the door to go that I am putting C before Bek, but what am I supposed to do?

Bella has a whole lot of health things going on that I don't really have the strength to get into... just, if you are a praying person, please keep her in your prayers.

The other 2 have stepped up their attitude issues just to make sure they are not forgotten in this whole mess.

Weight loss is stalled at 10 pounds.

On the plus side I got the new HP book on Saturday and read it. Bek is over half way through. She reads like me. Nothing else matters but the book. O I also got a new van on Saturday. An ice blue 2007 Chevy Uplander. Seems good so far.

Sorry about the lack of updates

Monday, June 18, 2007

Operation -100

So all in all I am down 9 pounds in two weeks. I need to get my butt in gear and exercise more. The carb craving is KILLING me!! Bread....toast... muffins - ooooooooo I am such a carb junkie. HELP!!!